on shame

I read a book in graduate school entitled “Change”. I read it in one weekend! It touched on the different theories of change and why people change, and the anomaly of change in human behavior. The last chapter told a story of change in drug addicts. Some addicts prayed for years with no resolve, some had to constantly work out their sobriety and fight against temptations, and a few lucky ones had stories of getting instantly delivered. Some, after years of prayer, some in a moment. This is grace. Unmerited favor. Undeserved kindness. Unimaginable strength for the impossible.

I also propose it’s the ability to be authentic. In Brene Brown’s research on shame, she writes how shame thrives in silence, secrecy, and judgement. When things are brought to the light, they are no longer scary, with shadows hiding jumping all around them. They pale in comparison to what we’ve imagined in our minds. Maybe when we bring our addictions, our deepest darkest fears and secrets, our secret behaviors to the light, is when we actually get the freedom we so desperately seek. Maybe when we can be authentic in our struggle is when we get unlocked. Shame dies when stories are told in safe places. This isn’t just a cute tag line. It’s incredibly powerful for healing.

A friend came up to me yesterday and said “I saw your face show hurt when I mentioned a friend I was meeting with. I want you to know I support you.” And you know what, my face showed hurt because I was hurt. But I was able to get free of some of the fear that came with that by just being authentic about it. So bring all your fears, addiction, shame to the light and let Jesus cleanse them in His sweetness and safety. Shame dies when stories are told in safe places.

Commentary from Is. 58:10 Passion Translation-”He will fill us with renewing grace even when we are surrounded by difficult situations. We will be given God’s grace to rebuild lives and institutions in our cities and churches and nations.”